OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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