my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
