I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
