I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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