my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We are all done wearing pants today
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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