Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
