Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
