she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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