My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
