Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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