I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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