there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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