Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize