I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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