remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
