she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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