There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm experimenting with sincerity
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
