bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
