you mean i was at the winter classic?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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