I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
