Kiss
Puke
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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