on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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