you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
