That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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