Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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