is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
wow bdsm is so cute
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
