bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
