Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
