Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
