so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
