I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
