How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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