dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
