Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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