I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
