I hope mine doesn't look like that
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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