I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
