I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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