So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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