he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
