Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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