when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
