Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
