I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
