How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
