do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
