is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
