I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
