And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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