return my video game
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
