My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
