So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
