i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
