Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
