Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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