then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
